Someone Willingly Married Amy Schumer
Chelsea Handler’s Tweet On The Florida High School Shooting Is Missing One Key Detail
February 15, 2018President Trump Officially Addresses The Nation After The Horrific Florida High School Massacre
February 15, 2018So… is Amy Schumer finally going to stop bragging about how many dudes she bangs?
‘Cuz someone willingly married her.
I can’t really wrap my head around who would CHOOSE to sign up for a lifetime of queef jokes and pseudo-feminism. But you know… whatever floats his boat. (Or his pocketbook.)
Amy Schumer and her new dude got married after a few months of dating. I’m sure it will last forever. (No, I’m not.)
Surprise! Amy Schumer married chef Chris Fischer on Tuesday, February 13, multiple sources confirm to Us Weekly exclusively.
One insider tells Us that the couple tied the knot outside a rented house in Malibu that overlooks the ocean. The guest list included Jennifer Lawrence, Jennifer Aniston, Larry David, David Spade and Judd Apatow. A comedian officiated the nuptials, and the pair read their own vows. A strict no-photos policy was enforced.
I’m sorry… but seriously. What self-respecting man wants a woman who brags about “catching d*ck anytime she wants?” Seriously… if she doesn’t have herpes (and a few others, for bonus.) I’d be SHOCKED.
Claaaassy.
…and so freaking awk.
Basically she was SUPER MAD that she got called plus size… so she bragged about “catching d***.” F’real.
I guess the wedding was “chill.”
“It was a very chill wedding. It was thrown together last minute,” a source says. “Most of the guests found out the wedding was happening on Tuesday from a text message sent out by Amy on Sunday. It was like, ‘Hey, this is happening. If you can make it, great. If not, no worries.’ People were in and out all night. It was a gorgeous day. Everyone was having a good time.”
They started dating in November. They rushed in to a wedding because the bank account the heart wants what it wants.
Us exclusively revealed in November that the stand-up comedian, 36, was dating the Beetlebung Farm Cookbook author, 37, after they were spotted looking cozy during a romantic dinner at Café Altro Paradiso in New York City. She confirmed the relationship news on Sunday, February 11, when she shared a photo on Instagram of herself kissing Fischer in a photo booth at Ellen DeGeneres’ star-studded 60th birthday party.
According to Schumer’s BFF and fellow comedian Bridget Everett, the Trainwreck actress is head over heels in love. “Amy’s very happy,” Everett, 45, told Us exclusively in December, adding that she has already met Fischer.
Here’s that picture. Maybe it’s just because I despise Schumer so much, but it kinda grosses me out…
Amy’s newest movie is getting SHREDDED… so maybe she just needed a little distraction from that.
