This Guy Voiced Over His Wife’s Make-Up Tutorial And I Am DYING.

I couldn’t love this any harder. WARNING: Language.

I’m equal parts fascinated by make-up tutorials and irritated by them. Crystal in the above video, just like the women in so many of these tutorials, wears POUNDS AND POUNDS AND POUNDS of make-up. I can’t bear to wear foundation, because the thought of putting a layer of tinted liquid goo all over my face sounds positively dreadful. Powder? I’m down with a dusting. Liquid Goo? No.

And contouring? NO CLUE. Highlighting? Hopeless. If I owned products that did those things, I would most certainly end up looking like I was trying to appropriate tribal culture, so I don’t own products that do those things.

And did you see the palettes Crystal has? SO MANY PALETTES. My eye shadow consists of a three color compact from CVS, and I only wear it if I’m dressing up, which is rare. I know how to do eyeliner (but not the cat-eye kind because that’s for advanced people like our writer, Hannah), and mascara. And I know (kinda) how to fill in my eyebrows a little. And I can put on lipstick, but I don’t own lip liner nor would I know what to do with it if I did own it. I can rock Carmex like no one’s business, though.

I just cannot imagine going through this kind of ritual on a daily basis. The video above is obviously sped up in places, massively edited, and in real life, I’m guessing Crystal’s routine takes her at least 20 minutes. My make-up routine takes approximately 90 seconds, and that’s if I’m putting in some significant effort.

But I’m fascinated by the women who have brushes of various sizes, palettes, endless shades of lip color and eye color and cheek color and contouring creams and highlighters and foundations, and actually know how to use all of it. I could do a tutorial on how to put make-up on in 90 seconds and look mildly presentable, but I’m not sure there’s an audience/market for that.

Anyway, I love Crystal’s husband, and I love that she had him voice over her tutorial. But if this is her daily routine, then I TOTALLY understand the need for wine breaks.