Chelsea Handler Compares Trump To A ‘Remedial Penguin’

The cheese is sliding off Chelsea Handler’s crackers. I didn’t think it was possible , but she’s actually gotten worse since leaving her comedy show.

The other day, she compared Trump to a “remedial penguin.” I guess that’s comedy now?

Watching @realDonaldTrump speak is like watching a remedial penguin try to make a speech. You are so unfit and Ill-informed about the military, about “criminals,” and about law enforcement. I can’t wait for your friends in law enforcement to drag you out of the WH in handcuffs.

— Chelsea Handler (@chelseahandler) December 15, 2017

First, is the “remedial” part truly necessary? She could’ve just said, “it’s like watching a penguin try to give a speech.” You know. Because penguins aren’t exactly speech-giving creatures in the first place. Sorry. Her bad jokes totally distract me.

On to the rest.

How is Trump “ill-informed” on criminals? Like, what doesn’t he understand about them? What information is he lacking, exactly? And why does she put criminals in quotes? Is she suggesting that lawbreakers aren’t criminals in nature? Is criminal behavior subjective now? On second thought, that’s nothing new. Liberals decided long ago that crossing the border illegally doesn’t make an individual a criminal. (According to liberals, murdering an innocent young girl in San Fran also doesn’t make you a criminal either.)

We’re still not done here.

What doesn’t Trump know or understand about law enforcement, Chelsea? I want details. He supports and respects them. He has their back. He wants them to do their job. And lastly, on what grounds would Trump be escorted out of the White House in handcuffs? What’s his crime? Royally pissing you off on a daily basis?

It’s sad Chelsea that your life is so consumed with such vile anger. I will pray for you….yes, I really will. https://t.co/5kpsylIyaY

— Juanita Broaddrick (@atensnut) December 16, 2017

There’s no “collusion, honey bunches. I know you’re desperate for Trump to be a shady politician like some of your all time favs, but he’s just not at that level yet. Maybe someday, but not right now. Right now, it’s all MAGA.

Get some sleep, Chels. Try a sedative. Order a My Pillow. Listen to smooth jazz. Clearly, your current regimen isn’t working. Nothing ages a woman quite like bitterness. Chelsea’s proof. She’s only 42 but looks at least 55.

Someone had to say it.