North Korea Claims Kim Jong-Un Climbed A Giant Mountain, Just One Problem

HAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh wait. They’re serious.

North Korea’s at it again. The state-run media is trying to convince everyone that McChubs climbed Mount Paektu, which is like 8,000 feet tall.

Now North Korean state media has made another dubious claim about Kim Jong-un‘s ‘superhuman powers’ after insisting the overweight tyrant had climbed an 8,000ft mountain.

Pyongyang media said the 33-year-old had managed to scale Mount Paektu – a sacred spot for North Koreans – after walking ‘through thick snow’ to reach the summit.

Wait. It gets better.

Rodong Sinmun reported how Kim’s ‘eyes reflected the strong beams of the gifted great person seeing in the majestic spirit of Mount Paektu the appearance of a powerful socialist nation which dynamically advances full of vigour without vacillation at any raving dirty wind on the planet.’

CAN YOU EVEN STAND IT?

There’s a picture of Kim smiling at the top. Does he look like he just climbed an 8,000-foot mountain to you? He doesn’t even have snow on his shoes, which by the way ARE NOT mountain climbing shoes.

Photo via Daily Mail:

They seriously expect us to believe that he climbed a mountain just like that.

Real talk: Even if Kim was all dressed up in climbing gear, I STILL wouldn’t believe that he climbed that mountain. For starters, look at him. Does he strike you as a man with any skills or abilities? I think not.

I’m not much of a mountain climber myself, but I did climb ONE a few years back: Mount Monadnock. It’s not a monster. I think it’s around 3,000 feet. Lemme tell ya. It took me a few hours to get to the top, and I was hustlin’. I was wearing sneakers and stretchy pants and carried a backpack full of granola bars and bottles of water galore. When I made it to the top, I didn’t look serene and beautiful. I was a sweaty mess. My cheeks were red. My legs hurt. I had dirt on my limbs. I didn’t look like Kim, who apparently climbed a mountain almost three times that height in leather dress shoes and fancy pants.

Yeah, no. I’m calling BS on this one. This is the most hilarious lie NK has released in quite some time.

h/t Daily Mail