Stanford University Publishes List Of Offensive Words, And It Includes “American.”

I can’t with this bullsh*t. I SIMPLY CANNOT.

The sourcelink leads you to a PDF put out by Stanford University, and the document is the result of “work” done by a bunch of clowns who’ve come together to create the Elimination of Harmful Language Initiative (EHLI). It’s a Real Thing.

The purpose of this initiative is to eliminate language considered “harmful” on Stanford websites and in their web code. And you guys, the list of words/phrases that are considered harmful is so long and so ridiculous, that you just have to shake your head that this is the kind of nonsense IVY LEAGUE SCHOOLS are focusing time and attention on.

Incidentally, I have already used one of the offensive phrases in this post. “You guys” is problematic because it “lumps a group of people using masculine language and/or into gender binary groups, which don’t include everyone.”

But if you guys think that’s the worst of it, you’re sadly mistaken. Allow me to share with you some of the more hilarious examples:

1. Stop using the term “addicted” and instead consider using “devoted” – as in, “My aunt is devoted to heroin.” Using the word “addicted” apparently “trivializes the experience of people who deal with substance abuse issues.”
2. Don’t use the term “basket case” because apparently that term used to refer to people who’d lost all four limbs and had to be carried around in a basket. Instead, the brainiacs at Stanford say – use “nervous.”
3. Don’t use the term “tone-deaf” because it’s ableist and it “trivializes the experiences of people living with disabilities.” Instead – use “unenlightened.”
4. DO NOT use the word “brave” in any circumstances. Stanford says that word “perpetuates the stereotype of the noble courageous savage.” I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.
5. Don’t call someone who’s really good at their area of expertise a “guru.” In Buddhism, that term is a sign of respect, and if you use it too CASUALLY, then it somehow might offend some Buddhist somewhere. Or something.
6. Don’t use the term “spirit animal.” If you use that term to refer to something you relate to or like a lot, you’re demeaning the significance of the term which was originally used to describe an animal or spirit that guides and/or protects you on a journey. So see? You’re a total jerk if you use that because reasons.
7. Stop saying the word “preferred” in front of the word “pronouns” because if you do that you’re implying that being non-binary is a choice. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! As if I’d ever use the word “preferred pronouns” unironically anyway.
8. NEVER call someone “ballsy” – because that equates personality traits to anatomy and we can’t have that because reasons.
9. Don’t use the word “seminal” because it’s too masculine. Instead, try “groundbreaking.” Because SEMEN, or something.
10. Do NOT use the word “abort” when referring to the ending of something because you might offend someone who immediately thinks about abortion. Obviously killing babies is no problem, but just don’t use that mean word when you’re not even talking about killing babies, you absolute monster.
11. NEVER say the word “American” all by itself, because then you’re implying that US citizens are the most important and only people in the 42 countries in the Americas. Instead, just say US citizen.
12. Don’t use the word Hispanic because it’s tied to colonialism. Instead, use Latinx.
13. Don’t call someone a “Karen.” Instead, call them a “demanding or entitled White woman.” YOU GUYS I AM NOT EVEN MAKING THIS UP THIS IS ON THE LIST.
14. Hilariously, now the phrase “people of color” is discouraged. Instead, use BIPOC – Black, Indigenous People of Color.
15. Don’t call someone a “survivor.” That defines someone by an experience and that’s apparently super mean now. Instead, say, “Person who was impacted by….”
16. Don’t ever use any term that starts with the word “black.” Blackballed, blacklisted, blackbox – all of those are now verboten. Same goes for anything starting with “white.”
17. Never refer to someone who’s doing time for murder a “prisoner.” Call him/her a “person who is incarcerated.”
18. Don’t use the expression, “Beating a dead horse” because that normalizes violence against animals. FOR REAL YOU GUYS THIS IS REALLY ON THE LIST.

I would go on, but you get the idea. The list is FOREVER LONG, and nearly everything on it is as stupid as the examples I’ve listed above. People pay huge money to send their kids to this school, you guys.

And I don’t know about you – but when I’m shown a list like this it makes me want to say EVERY LAST WORD ON THE LIST even more often than I already do.