BREAKING: Russia and Iran Meddling in Election, According to FBI

The FBI had some news they just HAD to share during the middle of Jeopardy!: Russia and Iran are attempting to influence our presidential election.

Tomorrow, we’ll be interrupting Wheel of Fortune to inform you that dogs are good.

[Director of National Intelligence John Ratcliffe] says Iran has sent “spoof emails” to damage President Trump. Additionally, Iran is distributing other content to say individuals could cast fraudulent ballots from overseas. He called the actions “desperate attempts by desperate adversaries.”

Are you serious? I missed most of Double Jeopardy for THIS??!! I’m not sure what’s more insulting to Americans: That foreign powers think we’re dumb enough to fall for their attempts to influence voters or that the FBI thinks we’re dumb enough to fall for attempts to influence voters.

Oh wait.  I forgot about the brilliant folks at The Lincoln Project.

HA HA HA HA HA HA!

(That tweet has just been deleted as of about 5 minutes after the FBI’s announcement).

I also don’t know why ANYONE feels compelled to sow MORE hatred for President Trump; are they really worried there’s not enough out there already?

FBI Director Chris Wray said despite the foreign efforts to interfere with elections, “you should be confident that your vote counts.”

“Unless you’re voting third party,” he was later heard to add. (THIS IS A JOKE DON’T FACT CHECK ME.)

Anyway, you heard it here first, Iran and Russia are upset and don’t want Trump to win. We’ll let you know when they’re more passionate about it than the average Democrat.

I think the real story here is that our information is NOT SAFE with the U.S. government. Think about that for a few minutes, or as long as you can bear without smashing your phone and moving off the grid. Before you do anything drastic, just remember, the wilds of Montana don’t get Jeopardy!.