OMG DID YOU GUYS SEE THE END OF THE DNC CONVENTION BECAUSE IT WAS LIKE A HUGE LSD TRIP

Not that I know personally what LSD trips are like, mind you.  But I’m guessing they look something like what happened after Eva Longoria said “Goodnight” to everyone.

Almost all the networks cut away immediately after Michelle Obama’s speech to do analysis meaning you are currently missing this pic.twitter.com/34YivVSq0h

— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) August 18, 2020

Dammit. Now I’m kinda wishing I’d stayed up for this level of crazy.

But what I’m hearing is that for the most part, Day One of the DNC convention was a total snooze-fest, and that’s not surprising.

Michelle Obama recorded her part a week ago, before Kamala was even announced as running mate, so Kamala wasn’t mentioned, and Michelle basically took a dramatic acting class before she performed this. I swear I thought she was going to squeak out some tears.

‘Let me be as honest and clear as I possibly can: Donald Trump is the wrong president for our country’ — Listen to Michelle Obama’s urgent call to action ahead of the 2020 election pic.twitter.com/YkCEB5bUxp

— NowThis (@nowthisnews) August 18, 2020

Did y’all catch the part where she said Joe gives his personal phone number to kids? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. That might be a little tone deaf, all things considered.

And then there was Bernie:

‘The future of our democracy is at stake. The future of our economy is at stake. The future of our planet is at stake. We must come together’ — Sen. Bernie Sanders called for party unity in his address at the 2020 Democratic National Convention pic.twitter.com/Cz5Q0yUsuS

— NowThis (@nowthisnews) August 18, 2020

So yeah. He is saying unequivocally that Joe Biden is adopting his radical policies, so if the mainstream media could go ahead and stop positioning Biden as if he’s a moderate now, that’d be great. The jig is sort of up.

Amy Klobuchar couldn’t have a speech without one of her bang-shakingly hilarious one-liners:

Sen. Amy Klobuchar’s here with the USPS jokes #DemConvention pic.twitter.com/FPJW9BVfLj

— NowThis (@nowthisnews) August 18, 2020

Gretchen Whitmer sounded like she was reading kindergartners a bedtime story:

Governor @GretchenWhitmer — thank you for your support and for meeting the COVID-19 crisis with the urgency it demands. The people of Michigan are lucky to have you leading the way. #DemConvention pic.twitter.com/ef2d4DldRV

— Joe Biden (@JoeBiden) August 18, 2020

Anyway, I’m not even gonna get into Kasich or Cuomo’s speeches because they were as you would expect – dull, self-indulgent, and not worth the time.

Did y’all watch?