Someone’s Digging Into Bernie Sanders’s Past. Could It Be Hillary?

With flaming socialist Bernie Sanders rising in the polls (uggggggghhhhh…) and the record-setting crowds he's attracting (yikes!), people want to know more about his past and his views (ask him about women's rape fantasies sometime – it's a complete HOOT).

According to this, special collections librarians at University of Vermont have had requests from media outlets (such as UK's The Guardian) to look into the Bernie Sanders Papers from his tenure as mayor of Burlington, Vermont. Democrat primary presidential candidate Martin O'Malley has even run an attack ad against Sanders using information that came from that particular collection. But there were two mysterious twenty-something hipsters looking through the that nobody seems to want to claim –

Last Thursday, two casually dressed twentysomethings were spotted combing through the Sanders files and decades-old Vermont newspapers. As they were on their way out the door at the end of the day, Seven Days asked what they were doing.

 

"No comment," said one of the young men, dressed in a T-shirt and flannel. "No comment."

 

As they emerged into the sunlight outside Bailey/Howe Library, Seven Days pressed again: "Come on! We're all doing the same thing."

 

"No, we're not," Flannel Man shot back.

 

"We're just looking," said the other one, dressed in a white shirt with black stripes.

 

"Looking at what?"

 

"Old newspapers," Stripy said. "Vermont history."

 

So who were these mysterious characters? Opposition researchers working for one of Sanders' rivals? Earlier that day a super PAC supporting former Maryland governor Martin O'Malley launched the first negative ad of the race targeting Sanders.

 

Asked if Team O'Malley had dispatched Flannel Man and Stripy to Burlington, campaign spokeswoman Lis Smith said, "We have not, and they are not affiliated with our campaign."

 

But wait! Here's a clue: That T-shirt Flannel Man was wearing? It read, "New Hampshire for Jeanne Shaheen."

 

Earlier this year, Hillary Clinton absorbed much of Shaheen's political operation to run her Granite State campaign: state director Mike Vlacich, senior political aide Kari Thurman and spokesman Harrell Kirstein.

 

Asked if Flannel Man and Stripy belonged to Team Clinton, Kirstein did not respond.

 

Welcome to Burlington, Hillary. Next time, tell your people to leave their Shaheen shirts at home.

I guess we'll find out what exactly Hillary dug up on ol' Bernie when she starts running ads against him in Vermont. Or probably in the debates. She's losing the youth vote to socialism (probably wondering how the heck that happened), so she's gotta do something!

Pass the popcorn – this is gonna get GOOD (before it gets terrible, anyway).