Topless Women Protested For Legalizing Abortion While Throwing Poop

Because that’s really how ladies should be conveyed – boobs and poo’s. When I witness that, I immediately think of how brave they must be for standing up for something they believe in. It MUST be about bodily autonomy (theirs, not their unborn children – duh). Beautiful. It’s a little abstract, but I get it.

“Topless protesters assailed the cathedral of La Plata, Argentina, this weekend, hurling Molotov cocktails and human excrement at the church building while demanding legalized abortion.”

The mural of crap on the church building probably looks a little abstract as well. Perhaps a little too Picasso for my liking. However, the message seems a bit exaggerated. *stares at mural of poop on the wall*I just can’t figure out why…

“The “tetazo,” or topless protest, was a spin-off from Argentina’s annual “National Encounter of Women” taking place Sunday in La Plata, home to one of the world’s largest Catholic cathedrals.”

Wait, you don’t see any coherent correlational? Congratulations, you’re a sound human being.

The last time I was naked and flinging poop around like a banshee, I was still in diapers. My mom hasn’t confirmed this story but, for the sake of my point, I’m leaving it here.

Usually when I describe something as amazing, I generally state, “That’s the tits!” However, I guess these savages of women are going to alter that entirely sophisticated (and beautifully constructed, I might add) analogy of mine.

“The activists called for “legal abortion now, unobstructed, safe, and free in the hospital” while also shouting insults against the Catholic Church.”

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure that, so long as the mother’s health isn’t at risk, a “safe” abortion is an oxymoron. It’s additionally humorous to me that you can’t spell oxymoron without moron which, in this particular case, is so fitting and I HAD to include that information. Kind of like when someone told you ‘racecar’ is spelled the same backwards. It’s useless information but you can’t un-see it now. You’re welcome.

So, to sum up –

Legalize abortions … because boobs… or else… your churches will be pooped on.