Like. . . This Isn’t, Like, Funny. It’s, Like. . . Sad?

A video has been making the rounds of a young woman discussing– or at least attempting to discuss– her complaints about the modern dating scene. It’s gotten a variety of responses, most of which involve her copious use of the word “like.”

See for yourself:

That was 35 “like”s in a 48 second video. (Well, 36 technically, but one of them was actually used appropriately.)

And sure, I get the instinct to LOL(OLOL) at how poorly this young woman expresses herself– after all, I’m the kind of person who rages for 20 minute when the BBC misspells a word on their TV program. But this. . . wasn’t funny to me.

Not to be a downer, but this girl (whose name I think is Nulani??) low key represents everything the two most pervasive things wrong with society– and neither of them are her fault.

But before we dig into that, I think we could all probably use a translation. There are two competing schools of thought on Twitter regarding what Nulani is actually trying to say, the first being that young people today don’t want to get to know their partners, they just want the gratification that comes from a healthy relationship immediately, without any work. Going in blind, I can see how people might come to this conclusion; I, too, was unaware that “the talking stage” she references is an Actual Thing.

According to Refinery29, who is an authority on whatever tf young people are talking about, if nothing else,

“In 2022, the talking stage is used to describe the nebulous start of a relationship where both parties likely met either in person or, more likely, online. It’s the stage where you will probably be texting someone everyday for weeks or months on end. Asking questions, getting to know each other, becoming more and more attached and eventually, potentially… catching feelings. . .

Although it feels like love in some sense, do not confuse any of this with commitment, because the talking stage exists to help people avoided the dreaded question of ‘what are we?’ It’s a blocker, an enabler and a way for us to hide from our emotions.”

With this context, Nulani’s complaint takes a different tone. Instead of “Wah wah, talking to people is lame!” we can realize that she’s actually talking about the stress of navigating incongruent expectations of a loaded exchange. And she isn’t afraid to say what Refinery29 won’t admit: it’s worse for women.

“Most of the time, the girl gets attached or something, and they see it like it’s going to lead to a relationship, and it’s always not,” Nulani says, and she hits the nail right on the head. Modern dating is designed for men, not women. Hookup culture overwhelmingly appeals to people with a high sex drive and a motivation to have lots of partners. Guess what? With few exceptions, that’s men, not women.

It’s a valid lament– as is the other societal issue highlighted by her like-laden diatribe.

This is public education at work. She is 18 years old and in COLLEGE (studying psychology, which, lol– if you know, you know), yet she possesses neither the vocabulary nor the critical thinking skills to formulate the thought, “The ‘talking stage’ in dating is confusing and often disappointing, particularly for women, and I don’t like it.”

. . . y’all. Homeschool your kids.