Former Mayor DeBlasio’s Wife Is A Lesbian, So They’re Gonna Separate But Also Still Live Together And Date Around, Because That’s The Kind Of Culture We Have Now.

Remember how sucky of a mayor for NYC Bill DeBlasio was? Remember how his wife somehow managed to swindle NYC folks out of MILLIONS of dollars that remain unaccounted for? Remember when he tried to run for president and we all laughed at him because no one in their right mind could see such a complete failure of a man running the country?

I thought we were sort of done hearing news about him, but alas. He’s a top story today.

According to the sourcelink, the DeBlasios are separating after nearly 30 years of marriage. They did an interview together for the New York Times, which I can’t read because I would never spend money on that garbage, but the best tidbits are well covered in the sourcelink. They include:

1. The ex-mayor has recently begun dyeing his hair. (?????)
2. A few months ago, while watching TV, he asked his wife why she wasn’t “lovey-dovey” anymore, and that discussion ended with them both agreeing to separate-but-not-really-separate.
3. Back in 1979, his wife Chirlaine wrote an essay entitled I Am A Lesbian. Bill married her anyway in 1994, and they had two children together.
4. They now plan to start seeing other people while continuing to live in/share their current home.
5. They continue to “cup hands” – which is the oddest way to refer to handholding ever – and also “high-fived” once during their interview, a point that the NYT thought really important to include in their gushing, over-the-top story on the DeBlasios.
6. DeBlasio admitted that he thought often about Chirlaine’s lesbianism throughout their marriage, wondering if it was a “time bomb ticking.”

Anyway, our culture is insane, so it seems somehow fitting that the DeBlasios are separating but continuing to live together while they date a bunch of other people.

Watch for them to soon make appearances on various dating apps.

via GIPHY