BETO Likes His Politics Like Bros Like Their Tinder Dates

I know that’s a weird headline, let me explain myself.

There’s always that dude that refuses to call the girl he’s regularly sleeping with his “girlfriend.” His excuse is that he “doesn’t like labels.” The reality is that calling her his “girlfriend” comes with a whole bunch of “boyfriend” expectations, like not cheating on her, returning her calls/texts, and buying her a Christmas gift.

“I don’t like labels” dudes are looking for all of the benefits of a girlfriend, without having to “buy the cow.”

Enter Beto:

Asked if he’s a progressive, @BetoORourke says, ‘I don’t know.’ He’s not big on labels, he says pic.twitter.com/gDczpTZ2Bb

— David Siders (@davidsiders) December 14, 2018

BAHAHAHAHAHA.

Beto is trying to get the “progressive” vote without having to commit to being a socialist nutjob and alienating moderates.

LADIES: any of you getting “It’s awesome hanging out, but I’m not looking for a steady relationship” flashbacks right about now?

Uh huh. I thought so.

His “progressive” gal pals (Not girlfriends. We’ve discussed this.) are HEARTBROKEN:

My thoughts on Beto throughout 2018: pic.twitter.com/5Vzi6CkPJC

— Political The Joseph (@thejoseph_poli) December 15, 2018

pic.twitter.com/wDtdPSuKmf

— Parker Molloy (@ParkerMolloy) December 14, 2018

Voted for him in the Senate race. His behavior since then tells us he’s not ready for the oval, especially in this political climate. Trump would tea bag him on national television. Centrism can’t win now.

— Celtic Frosty the Snowman (@CelticFrosty) December 15, 2018

That’s fine because I’m not big on supporting him.

— DebraNYC (@debra_hendler) December 14, 2018

“Well I never liked you anyway, soooo… Whatever.”